i'm revoking my title
yes thats right i am revoking my femme fatale title for a day because i dont deserve it, i havent earned it..now what i am going to do going forward is make sure that every single day that passes I earn it more and more. How could i be so stupid, why would i ever trust a man with my inner most, thoughts, feelings and skeletons. I will never tell another man the truth about my past or my present ever again.
Why did i do that? what was i thinking? why didnt i lie?? i could have easily lied, but i was trying to be forthcoming and honest..something that he has always asked for......that was stupid.....he didnt mean that... he must have meant lie with a straight face so i dont catch you..... never again will i do that.... honesty is not the best policy... it doesnt hurt anyone but both of you!
l see now why most women are habitual liars....and how it is true that men are more sensitive than women. why did he have to ask so many questions anyway... he didnt really want to know.. i dont ask things that at the end of the day i truly dont want the answer to, which is why i'm never sure of how to answer in these positions.
the first thought is always does he really want to know? is he really seeking the truth? damn man... i should have thought for a second and realized no he doesnt want to hear the truth, he wants to hear what he wants to hear so we can be happy together... but i didnt want to be a liar, because i was trying to think further than just today... i was thinking about the future and not trying to ruin it with slips later on when the stakes are truly high....bad move .... i should have waited because with more invested he wouldnt have been so inclined to hate me.
goodbye truth...goodbye love..... goodbye hope...
i should have left it alone with him just thinking i was a bitch.....i'm ok with that one.... but this...this is beyond all feelings i can grasp... i have never felt so horrible about telling someone the truth ever before... and i will never do it again.
with that said, if i know i am going to allow myself the ability to lie to protect a "him" that means i will be completely building a life of lies and deceit and than means i will never allow myself to be close enough to anyone to find truth.
i coul not live in a world of love, happiness and marriage, knowing that i have lied my way to it... so those end goals are never going to be for me....they are more headache than they are worth and pretty overrated and overglorified by now for me anyway..
Why did i do that? what was i thinking? why didnt i lie?? i could have easily lied, but i was trying to be forthcoming and honest..something that he has always asked for......that was stupid.....he didnt mean that... he must have meant lie with a straight face so i dont catch you..... never again will i do that.... honesty is not the best policy... it doesnt hurt anyone but both of you!
l see now why most women are habitual liars....and how it is true that men are more sensitive than women. why did he have to ask so many questions anyway... he didnt really want to know.. i dont ask things that at the end of the day i truly dont want the answer to, which is why i'm never sure of how to answer in these positions.
the first thought is always does he really want to know? is he really seeking the truth? damn man... i should have thought for a second and realized no he doesnt want to hear the truth, he wants to hear what he wants to hear so we can be happy together... but i didnt want to be a liar, because i was trying to think further than just today... i was thinking about the future and not trying to ruin it with slips later on when the stakes are truly high....bad move .... i should have waited because with more invested he wouldnt have been so inclined to hate me.
goodbye truth...goodbye love..... goodbye hope...
i should have left it alone with him just thinking i was a bitch.....i'm ok with that one.... but this...this is beyond all feelings i can grasp... i have never felt so horrible about telling someone the truth ever before... and i will never do it again.
with that said, if i know i am going to allow myself the ability to lie to protect a "him" that means i will be completely building a life of lies and deceit and than means i will never allow myself to be close enough to anyone to find truth.
i coul not live in a world of love, happiness and marriage, knowing that i have lied my way to it... so those end goals are never going to be for me....they are more headache than they are worth and pretty overrated and overglorified by now for me anyway..
posted by Lilias it's a pretty name | 7:59 AM
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